The Back Handed Compliment

Moose and Zee Centerpiece Pinterest by Amy Bowerman of Plucking Daisies Designs

The following is a public conversation relating to a repin of the above project on Pinterest.

Jodie Casal
Moose and Zee Centerpiece....remaking this....but better...we'll see...
Repinned from Plucking Daisies Designs by Amy Bowerman

Amy Bowerman
I see that you are new to Pinterest...generally we do not insult another artists work here. I pin my work to inspire others...not to be ridiculed.

Jodie Casal
I'm sorry Amy, I'm kind of a smart ass, I didn't mean to insult you at all. I thought it was cute...which I why I stole YOUR idea.

Jodie Casal
I was insinuating that if it was re-done, after the first time, it would be even better. Regardless of who redid it. It's adorable!

Michelle Petryszyn
Well Amy I think everyones opinion is there opinion and if you knew Jodie you would realize she wouldn't insult or ridicule you !!! Relax!!!

Good...grief.  Where to begin...

Rudeness comes in many forms. Sometimes rudeness is blatant and loud, like a nasty comment with no artifice of civility or decorum. Then there is the second and in Ms. Madge(rs) humble opinion, more insidious kind of passive-aggressive rudeness often referred to as 'the back handed compliment.'

This second variety almost always stems from a place of insecurity. Why else would one both compliment and insult simultaneously? Oh look, someone had a great idea first, why how dare they have that great idea I would obviously have had given time. I am going to tell them it is a great idea, but make it clear that my version of that great idea would have been vastly superior.

Oh my little green eyed monster, you are a nasty beast indeed.

Jealousy is a valid human emotion and Ms. Madge(rs) has found herself overcome by it on numerous occasions. She has, however, learned to keep her dirty little thoughts to herself. You may have done it better had you the foresight to have the idea first although looking at the two finished designs (here is a link to Jodie's  version) I am not convinced your argument holds water.  The plain truth is, you did not have the idea first, therefore the point, my dear, is moot. Perhaps a reflection on your Pinterest 'faith' board will remind you to follow the golden rule and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Excusing rude behavior by denying it or rationalizing it is not a valid excuse. You can't rewrite reality.

Then to add insult to virtual injury, you recreated the project changing it only slightly and posted it without credit to the originator.

Wow.

On rare occasion Ms. Madge(rs) is speechless. This is one of them.

But I will leave you with this thought, "My Religion is Kindness." The 14th Dalai Lama

xoxo
Ms. Madge(rs)

(NOTE: the images in the projects are under the copyright of Nickelodeon.  Be very careful using copyright protected images in your designs and always clearly specify FOR PERSONAL USE.  You can not use copyright protected images and resell them, even if you've redrawn them.  Just ask anyone who has been sued by Disney.)

Butt Fabulous!

Twisted Crystal for Beadalon by Margot Potter Copyright 2012

This design graced the catwalk of the Craft, Hobby and Stitch Show in the UK yesterday. It was met with much acclaim and one rather glaring insult left on the wall of the manufacturer for whom the design was created. Enter Ms. Madge(rs)!

Gail Weston Clapp: It's butt ugly!

My Dear Gail:

Firstly, I applaud your laser like ability to get right to the point. Why tip toe around in order to spare the feelings of others? Just blurt out whatever random thought crosses your mind.

This food sucks! You are stupid! That dress is ugly! I hate you! You smell like cabbage!

What a fun, carefree world it would be if we could just say it out loud, every last wicked little thought! Hooray! 

Alas, at least for the time being, we live in a world where it is considered impolite to blurt out every random thought that crosses our mind. This prevents us from hurting feelings unnecessarily. Do we have to like everything, of course not. Do we have to compliment things we do not like, absolutely not. But if our thoughts are not constructive or thoughtful, we keep those thoughts to ourselves, particularly when we are in a public forum. Civility, kindness, courtesy and compassion matter, deeply.

So perhaps, Gail, in the future, you might reflect upon the feelings of the person on the other side of that computer screen before typing enter. Think about how you might feel if that person typed something cruel about your creations on the internet. Then hit delete.

It is the civil thing to do.

And for the record, Ms. Madge(rs) is blessed with a pert, perky and pleasing posterior. Therefore she and her creations are, in point of fact, butt fabulous. Your comment, however, is just plain ugly.

Cheekily yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

An Unsatisfying Review

"Amazon Book Review
The Hunger Games
Debbie R.

I have read many books..a lot of different topics and plots. This Book after reading one chapter is going to join the dumpster.
I had to force myself to read one chapter and could not "get into" the book AT ALL

I would highly recommend you read some of this book before purchasing it. I did not like it at all and I can't say that about many books.

Not good."

Dear Debbie

Firstly let me congratulate you on being an avid reader, that's commendable indeed.  I'm sensing by the overall tone of your review that you did not like this book. Am I correct in this assumption? It must have been positively dreadful for you to be compelled to throw your hands up into the air and toss this apparent drivel into the trash (or as you so creatively put it, send this book to "join the dumpster.")

I'm not sure what they'll do together, but you never know what a book and a dumpster might contrive given a little quality time.

As Ms. Madge(rs) has yet to succumb to the Hunger Games fever that has swept the world and even impacted members of her own household, she can not speak to the quality of writing or content. As you read only a single chapter before giving up the ghost, it follows that you may not be qualified to speak to these things either. In fact, I am unclear as to exactly why you did not like the book, which is the actual point of writing a review.  Debbie, what was it about this book that you did not like-was it the writing, the characters, the plot, the font, the cover?  Inquiring minds wish to know.

Ms. Madge(rs) is sorry to say that she did not enjoy reading your review because it lacked substance.  She also does not like mayonnaise, elevator music or sunburns and would, upon request, be delighted to elaborate.

To each her own, but I'm afraid I can not "get into" this review at all.

Cheers,
Ms. Madge(rs)

It's Real Simple...Be Nice on the Internet

 

REAL SIMPLE KICKS OFF THE FIRST-EVER

“BE NICE ON THE INTERNET” WEEK

JANUARY 9-13, 2012

Ms. Madge(rs) was positively delighted when informed that the fine folks from Real Simple are launching a week long celebration of online civility in their Be Nice on the Internet Week campaign from January 9-13.  If you'd like to be part of the fun, follow this link to their site.  Perhaps these winds of positivity will help sweep the nasty internet trolls right back under the bridges from whence they crawled. Now that's a lovely thought, isn't it?

At the very least, Gentle Reader, we can, each of us, become a beacon for the power of spreading good cheer and showing others that it is possible to express criticism with compassion.  We don't have to like everything, but as the old (and still apt adage) says, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."  And, Ms. Madge(rs) would add, "If you feel compelled to say something anyway, be thoughtful, concise and most of all...kind."

On that uplifting note, Ms. Madge(rs) bids you a most delightful snarky comment free day.  Huzzah!

Cheers,
Ms. Madge(rs)

The War on Civility

Nothing like a Santa with good right hook.

Ms. Madge(rs) is here today to comment on a variety of angry threads that have been appearing around the interwebs recently in regards to the seasonal greeting "Happy Holidays."

Gentle Reader,

If someone wishes you 'Happy Holidays', the proper response is a heartfelt and cheerful, "Thank you!", not a snarky, self righteous, lengthy and factually challenged lecture nor a snippy passive-aggressive response inserting your holiday of choice into the equation.

In point of fact,  whether they wish you Cool Yule, Swingin' Solstice, Happy Hannukah, Fabulous Festivus, Merry Christmas, Kickin' Kwanzaa, Saucy Saturnalia, Seasons Greetings, Delightful Non-Denominational Celebration of the Winter Season...the appropriate reply is yet again a heartfelt and cheerful, "Thank you!"

One should not impose their holiday viewpoints upon unsuspecting friendly greeters nor lecture them on the apparent evils of the imaginary War on Christmas. That is entirely antithetical to the gracious and joyful nature of the season. Ms. Madge(rs) is quite certain that the real war here is the one on basic civility. She remains hopeful that we can eventually triumph over it by simply remembering the Golden Rule.

No matter what you celebrate this time of year, Ms. Madge(rs) hopes it is splendiferous, spectacular and stress free.

Love
Ms. M

Astute on Etsy

Copyright Jennifer VanBenschoten ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Today's miserable message in a bottle was sent via private conversation on Etsy to jewelry artist Jennifer VanBenschoten of Van Beads in refererence to her The Color and Shape Bead Embroidered Necklace.

"about your necklace are you seriously charging that much !!! i saw one idetical (sp) but with jade and it was only $50 your price is ridicolous (sp) besides a kid could make this minus the edging around the pietersite."

My Dear Anon

Firstly let me congratulate you on your astute observation. Why yes, a kid could make this...minus the considerable, pain staking, time consuming and quite frankly, gorgeous beaded cabochon work. Why perhaps with a little sensory deprivation and endless hours spent locked in a hot, dark room each day, a kid could pump these puppies out (minus the edging) by the dozens for pennies.

Oh but wait! They do, it's called slave labor!

Unfortunately for you, it was banned in this country over a hundred years ago, after those problematic nimble fingered children kept getting in factory accidents and losing said aforementioned fingers rendering themselves absolutely useless to society. Don't despair, there are plenty of children in other countries working for pennies, so all hope is not lost.

Your other equally astute observation is also correct, jade does cost much less than Pietersite! What would have possessed Jennifer to use a more expensive and rare material in her work and then have the audacity to charge you for her hours of labor, her designer eye, the cost of her materials, her time spent photographing the piece and uploading the pictures and information to Etsy and then expect to make a profit? Really? It is baffling indeed.

Yes, Anon, that was sarcasm.

Go forth, ye, dollars tightly clutched in your fist and seek these cheaply made, low quality, child crafted goods! Away!

Sarcastically yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)

Sometimes a Poppy...is Just a Poppy.

Seed Bead Artist Kerrie Slade Lurks Among Flowers That May Harbor Alternate Meanings

Today's snarky internet comment hails from the United Kingdom and was deposited on the website of seed bead master artist Kerrie Slade. Kerrie sells a variety of seed bead patterns on her site, one is a stunning poppy themed pin. Because the poppy is a symbol for Remembrance Day in the UK, according to the mysterious 'J', they are therefore banned from any other decorative use.

"I was wondering if any of the money you make from your poppy tutorial go (sp) to the Royal British Legion. After all you live in this country so you are well aware of the implications of the symbol of a poppy. It is NOT a fashion statement to e (sp) made into a profit for your own gain. A gain you have been able to have off the backs of all the men and womeb(sp) who fought for your freedom to have rights." 'J'

Ah 'J', nothing is quite as refreshing as a generous dose of sanctimony peppered liberally with self righteous indignation. Kudos to you on your thorough chastising of someone whom you have never met. I am sure you have donated generously to the RBL, yes? Would you care to show us your receipts? It only follows that if we're demanding proof, you should be willing to step up to the plate. Or at the very least reveal your full name.

Here is a classic illustration of what occurs when one assumes.

Yes, you make an ass of u and me. Or actually u make an ass of you and Kerrie, but assukerrie lacks...something.

A private email might have revealed that Kerrie has generously donated her talents to many, many causes over the years. Kerrie herself suffers from a chronic medical condition about which she rarely speaks. She is charitable and she is kind and to add insult to virtual injury, her aforementioned Poppy pattern has been stolen and is now being offered for free on the internet.

Is it possible, 'J', that you are the culprit? Hmmm...

Though I appreciate that the poppy has other meanings in the UK, sometimes my dear, a poppy is just a poppy.

And if not, someone really should tell Georgia O'Keefe.

Respectfully yours,
Ms. Madge(rs)